SOBER THOUGHTS

I have a true confession to make: 
 
I’ve been involved in a life long love affair. At times, I’ve been embarrassed to admit it.  But, now, the time has come for me to shed all of my inhibitions and I am no longer ashamed of it. Certainly by now, it’s no longer a big secret.
 
But, it is all about to end. I’ve agonized over it, because relationships are supposed to be mutually beneficial, but this one has become one-sided.   I have tossed and turned and spent many sleepless nights trying to decide how to end the relationship.  For a while, I thought we could work things out.  Over recent months, the relationship has cost me thousands. Talk about high maintenance!  And I’m a single parent, with a grandbaby!   This relationship is taking food out of my children’s mouths.  So, I have no choice but to try to break the news as gently as I can.
 
As a result of this decision, I’ve been overrun with every emotion in the book. Sadness, disgust, despondency, ambivalence, and down right depression.  The thought of ending such a long love affair just breaks my heart.  But, I must break it off with my Ford LTD Crown Victoria.
 
I’ve been in love with the Ford LTD Crown Victoria since I was 18 years old.  How can I describe it? The Ford Crown Victoria is a fullsize sedan manufactured by the Ford Motor Company. The Crown Victoria, or “Crown Vic” as it is often referred, represents the top-of-the-line sedan in the Ford lineup.   Many older car enthusiasts may even remember it by its popular predecessor, which was named the Ford LTD.   Ford Crown Victoria is also commonly used as a taxi cab, fleet vehicle and police car, a segment in which Crown Victorias make up the vast majority of vehicles used.  I don’t care who used it.  I was in love with it.
 
My first “Crown” was a gift from my mama.  When I was eighteen years old, she found a retired “Police Cruiser.” It was the beginning of a love affair made in heaven, that would last my whole life.   It was just a plain two-tone car with a white top and blue body.  It had nothing in it: no air conditioning, no radio, no comfortable seats. But, boy, did she have an engine under the hood!   She literally hummed!   I believe it was the 2^nd car my mother found me, during my years at Southern Union.  Just a way to make the short commute from home to Southern Union every day.  She saw me all the way through my Southern Union years up until I transferred to the University of Alabama. Once, my interest waned; but she remained steadfast, even withstanding a short separation period when she  was semi-junked out in the elements for a time. Then, when I decided to revive her, she fired right up.   One of the best cars ever built.  We finally said goodbye one day, out on I-20 between Tuscaloosa and Birmingham, when she would just couldn’t go ant further.  I believe she had outlived her usefulness.  But, she was the best.
 
I took a reprieve from the Crown Victoria.  I tried Dodge, Chrysler, Cadillac, Chevy, and a few others.   But, like a beloved pet, she continued to pull on my heart-strings, from time to time.  Then, several years down the road, my beloved son a classic car enthusiast, re-kindled my affection for her.  We were blissfully reunited when I bought him his first Crown.  It was a 1990.  Then, every time I would drive his Crown, once again, a flood of beautiful memories would return. Memories of the comfort, the smooth ride, the reliable performance, the luxurious upholstery, the plush spacious interior. Alas, we were together again!   But, it wasn’t enough just to be able to drive his Crown.  I had to have my own!  Thus began a long loving relationship.  It was a marriage made in heaven.
Our Love affair survived three subsequent up-grades:  to the 1996, which boasted the 4.6 L modular engine; the 2000 which sported the sleek rounded face-lift dating back to 1998.  With it’s high safety rating, she performed well (as I would expect) in the Spring of 2004, when she literally saved my life when I was involved in what could have been a fatal collision).  This is when I had to bid farewell to the 2000.  Putting the past behind, the most exhilarating and exciting was the experience of finally making that upgrade that everyone longs for, the show-room new, ultimate, 2004, LX Sports Coupe, which came with a price tag of 30,000.00 and a big long-term monthly commitment.  Umm! The things we’ll do for love!
 
Yet, I said to myself, “Heck, I work hard.  I’ve worked hard all my life.  I deserve this.” 
 
And I did deserve it, until the trend in gasoline prices turned my joy into constant pain and the cost of my love-affair began to forcing me to make the choice between paying essential bills, and getting to work every day.  Then, reality struck me in the face, and said “Nobody deserves this….It’s getting to the point where the love affair has me backed into a corner. It has me “pinching off” of the bill-money to fill-up for my 60-mile-per-day commute, as well as the miscellaneous traveling I must do in connection with other activities and commitments.   I’m bitter about it, because, I hate for it to end this way. 
 
Perhaps another season; another time; another Presidency.

Copyright 2005 by Charlotte A. Clark-Frieson
This article was composed and written by Charlotte A. Clark-Frieson, and appeared
 in the May 19, 2006 edition of The People’s Voice African American Weekly News (http://www.peoplesvoiceonline.com/).  
This article may be reprinted with permission from the author:
Charlotte A. Clark-Frieson
email:  caclarkfrieson@msn.com
322 Wilkie Clark Drive
Roanoke, Alabama 36274
334-863-4885
334-338-1149