SOBER THOUGHTS

I have always been concerned about my neighborhood and my community.  I suppose I am that way by nature because I grew up in a home with parents who valued civic awareness and participation.   I was always taught that we (citizens) should participate in all aspects of our community so as to make them better.   But, as I was growing up in Roanoke, Alabama, I observed that blacks were often prohibited from full participation in the community in one way or another.  Thus, I started at a very young age, to perceive Roanoke and the whole county, as a place that was unfriendly toward blacks.  So, I got an attitude that I’ve had most of my life.   I’m sure most of our attitudes toward our communities have been shaped by our experiences in our community, no matter where it is.  Roanoke, LaFayette, Opelika, Alex City…

Because of my childhood and young adult experiences in Roanoke, I have to describe my relationship with my community as a “love-hate” relationship.  When it comes to my community, I can’t afford to deceive myself.  This is my home and although I want to love it, and I believe that I should love it. there are often times that I wish it weren’t.  There are times that I loathe the place.  And at times my life is an internal struggle to reconcile these two opposing thoughts.   

 
My life of 52 years has afforded me too many opportunities to witness the evolution of Roanoke, Alabama, and sad as it is, little has changed.   The “separate but equal era” was one of the most hideous experiences in my life.  Here in Roanoke, Jim Crow was everywhere.  It was the order of the day.   There are many experiences that I recall as a child that have never left me….And even some of those who perpetrated their evil “Jim Crow” deeds that often bruised my young black ego, are still here. 

 
I never shall forget once, my parents and I stopped at a gas station in East Roanoke.  A white service station attendant came running out of the store, and yelled at my father “What can I get for you Smokey?”   I think my father was in such a state of shock until he could not speak, because it was the first time I’d ever seen him speechless.  My mother was yelling, “Drive Off!  Just leave!  You don’t have to spend your money at a station where the attendant calls you “Smokey!”    My father finally came to himself and sped away as fast as he could.   The memories of this event having happened right here in my hometown, are irascible and have hung over my head like a threatening black cloud.  They cannot be erased from my memory.   In my mind, I question myself, “What kind of a place could breeds people who thought and acted this way?”

 
School desegregation was one ugly chain of events after another.   I often reflect on the many evil deeds that were perpetrated against my mother and my father in the name of white superiority, and I get mad.    I’m not mad so much over those particular events, but what really makes me mad is that some of the same characters and individuals who performed during that theater, are still here;  they are still leading, or if not leading, they are advising, but they are somewhere in the picture.   With all the entitlements that have been won through the civil rights struggles of the previous century, the true powers that be, still have not changed….not really.   And it is most evident in our major institutions—the halls of justice ― the school house ―  city hall ―corporate America  ―  commerce  AND lo and behold, even in the church ―  everywhere.     

Having witnessed all this unfriendliness, I sometimes wonder, “Why waste my time caring about a place like Roanoke?”  Then, I look at my young adult children, who are still here, and my grandson who is here, and realize that I have a duty to care, because of them.   And that’s why my parents cared, because of me.  

 
Why don’t more citizens participate in the political process?  Why are so many more blacks in the county jail in Wedowee?  Why don’t our young people seem to care about

their character and values?   Why are drug dealers, junkies and dope pushers being allowed to control the streets in neighborhoods where little children are growing up?

 
The only answer I can come up with is that they have lost hope.   Very few black people in this area have ever really felt any real ownership of this community.  We are called upon ONLY in a crisis or when needed.  We are called upon to shell out our money to the municipal courts and to condescend to everything punitive or oppressive that can be forced upon us.  Rather than approach us from a positive perspective, instead we are attacked.  So, when people are constantly under attack, they retreat – and they ultimately lose hope.

 
Many blacks whether they admit it or not, are still affected by the ugliness of living under Jim Crow in Alabama.  Many of us are still filled with anger.  And even though on the surface, we try to “go along just to get along,”  we are all touchy about these things.  And it is really going to take something deeper and more far-reaching than just court-ordered entitlements to fix these things.  

 
A revival of a totally different kind is needed, wherein true and complete repentance is made.  Many individuals have repented in their hearts for misdeeds that may have been committed back in the day, but until you come face to face with the one you offended, healing will never evolve.   We do a lot of preaching and prophesying, and whooping and hollering …. Many church groups, and even former President Clinton forfeited a wonderful opportunity to reconcile with Black America.   A simple apology would have gone a long way to make things better.  But, pride gets in the way.   Until America, along with every one of its municipalities, counties, and institutions falls on its knees, and confesses to the wrongs that have been committed against black America, we must face the fact that we will never rise to our ultimate greatness.    

 
Our town is suffering right now.  Even though we have a few new businesses coming in to our town, by and large, anybody living in Roanoke who is making a decent living is commuting to another community.   Within the last month, we have lost two of our businesses.   Our down-town is a “ghost town.”  Our city has very little industry; and even though we have a lot of eateries, if we don’t do something to attract more industry to our area, nobody here will be able to afford these eateries.   In the black neighborhoods

Many of our communities are totally drug-infested…..with junkies walking the streets night and day. 

 
With the current increase in fuel costs, this is no time for municipal or state government to bear down on its most economically oppressed citizens.  But what do our cities do?  Step up police activity so it can further impose financially upon the poor, disenfranchised and oppressed.   

 
We need a civic revival here and everywhere.  Leaders must learn that they need everybody pulling together to make the community a place where all can prosper.  Instead of attacking we must embrace diversity, and find ways to make citizenship all-inclusive phenomenon, where everybody feels some ownership in the community – and not just treat it as an exclusive right.  

 
Unless there are changes in the attitudes of those who lead, we will forever be spinning our wheels, going no-where.