SOBER THOUGHTS

Well, wouldn’t you know it, David ended up in Randolph County Juvenile Court facing a charge of “statutory rape.”  

According to mom, David had a court appointed attorney, who urged him to plead guilty to the charge.  Even though, insufficient evidence was found to convict him of statutory rape, he was ultimately charged with “sexual misconduct” and sentenced to 90 days at Mount Meigs, a youth detention facility located near Montgomery, Alabama.  

Mother and grandmother were here to talk to me me because they were concerned that to date, David has been detained MORE THAN A YEAR, and is still in the youth detention center.  Moreover, David had already spent some time at the Lee County YDC in Opelika before been sent on to Mount Meigs.    

Mother is missing her young son, who is now approaching age 18.  Her concern was that he had actually served more than his actual sentence of 90 days, and why had they kept him at Mount Meigs more than a year?

Very early in our conversation, I sort of knew where this was heading.  

Mom in a very subtle kind of way tried to defend David’s behavior from the standpoint of: “The girl was the one who was doing the act, not my David….they didn’t find evidence that he had had sex with her….he said it was all her fault…not his.”  

Well, what do you expect Mom?

First of all, mom, get real.  We’re talking about Alabama here…let alone Randolph County.
What makes you think that any Juvenile Judge wouldn’t throw the book at a young black boy who had gotten down with a young white girl?

Too Political!  

What is the lesson to be learned here?

First of all, young black mothers, get real.  You need to tell your young sons, that if they don’t want to find themselves facing rape charges, they’d better keep their hands off these little white girls, because the truth is that no matter how times may have changed, few of these East Alabama white mothers and fathers
appreciate the sight of their daughters loving on our black boys.  They still don’t like it and they are blatant in their position about that.

Secondly, young black mothers, get real!  You need to tell your young sons that if they plan to be in a sexual relationship with a girl, they need to exercise extreme caution in choosing the girl, because, if they get ahold to the “wrong” girl, they may end up facing statutory rape charges.  

Thirdly, young black mothers, get real!  You need to tell your older sons that if they are 16, 17, 18 years old OR OLDER, they do not need to be fooling around with 12, 13, and 14 year- old-girls.  They are prime target for being charged with rape.  The fact is, no older boy, has any business associating with younger girls.  It is just not socially appropriate.

Fourth, young black mothers, get real!  Any mother, who is half a woman or half a mother, is going to protect her daughter from sexual abuse.  No mother who is worth her salt is going to allow her daughter to be taken advantage of by an older boy.  It’s irresponsible.  Also, a mother who allows or subjects her child to abuse of any kind is at risk of losing custody of her child.  So, DON’T HATE!  I would have done the same thing.  

Finally, as we concluded our conversation, I shared with this young mother, a similar experience that I had.  

I explained to her that several years ago, I had had to do the same thing, when I found an older boy in my house with my 13-year-old daughter.
Although she had let him come into the house, I explained to this mother that while she (my daughter) may have consented, I didn’t.  And when a mother has a child that young, the child doesn’t have the right to give her consent to have sex.  That’s why children have parents.  I did not consent, and so from my perspective, I had a duty to protect my child from predators, who take advantage of young girl’s youth and naivite’.

I was well within my rights as a parent.  The family of the boy were angry with me, and talked about me all over town.  But do you think I cared?  This had nothing to do with race!  They talked about my daughter…said she was fast and she led the boy on.  Maybe.  But, that still didn’t make his decision right.  She was wrong too.  Just as wrong as he was.  And there were consequences for her as well.  HE should have known better, and my intention was to make sure that he never forgot the longest day that he lived, who’s child he had messed with!

What is my point?  

As time goes by, it seems that the more access we black people have to education, and technology, and information, the less sensible we are as parents.  We let our children run over us;  we let them tell us what to do;  we are so in love with our boys, until they can do no wrong.  We are so naive about legal matters until we can’t even advise them about their poor decisions.  Many of us keep our heads so cluttered with junk, until all we have on our minds of a ball game or a party, and it’s destroying our race.

That is how we always manage to get shafted by the legal system.  Now, because of our ignorance, we didn’t have sense enough to know that the child’s decision was foolish.  We want to argue and defend his action.  

Now, he’s in trouble.  We’ve been so consumed with partying and playing ball, until, that’s practically all we know.  Can’t afford good, competent legal counsel for him.  He get’s stuck with a court-appointed attorney, who advises him to cop a plea.  And you know the rest of the story….

Black mothers and fathers, we need to take care of business, where our children are concerned.

Very much in the words of L.C. Thornton, “Exactly who IS in charge?”